BURN BABY BURN - 17th
September 2000
by Brad Stephens
Wrasslin.com Head Columnist
E-Mail: stephens_uncut@yahoo.com
In just over a week's time,
'Unforgiven' will come at us live with a Four-Corners Main Event
battle for the WWF title. In serious danger of being overshadowed
by the Triple H/Kurt Angle showdown, with the promise of
Stephanie's revelations and Mick Foley's possible McMahon-like
heel turn (he hates Triple H, he publicly gave Angle as his
favorite to win the King Of The Ring, he's now got the power- you
figure it out), not to mention the return of Steve Austin, the
WWF booking office may well pull out a shocker in the contest.
After all, they do not want their prize to lose any credibility
as it did back at 'Armageddon'. On paper however, The Rock should
win, as Benoit has yet to reach the peak of his heel heat whilst
The Undertaker is still somewhat held back by the remnants of his
groin injury.
But what about contestant Number Four in the fracas? Indeed,
here's the biggest X-Factor in the WWF title scene today, one
standing at nearly seven foot tall and weighing some 326 pounds.
Kane could well have struck it lucky with regard to his hunt for
the gold, and a title run is certainly long overdue. The Big Red
Machine as Jim Ross has affectionately labeled him has for the
past three years been one of the WWF's most bankable characters,
consistently in the top ten of their merchandising sales and
always greeted with excitement by the crowds. Can he walk into
next Sunday's event and capture the championship?
If he were able to gain the duke, few names on the Stamford
roster have earned it more than Glenn Jacobs. Here is a guy that
has been up north in excess of five years now, yet it was only
after a painful two year merry-go-round of poor gimmicks and
mismatches that he finally hit paydirt. Whereas Steve Austin
dumped his lousy alteregoes himself and The Rock simply took
advantage of the fact everyone thought he sucked, Jacobs's ride
to stardom was not so easy. Yet he persevered, guessing correctly
that Vince McMahon would not give up on him due to his sheer size
and muscle mass. For Jacobs, the path to WWF glory has indeed
been one of hellfire and brimstone.
It all started back in the spring of 1995. Jerry Lawler had come
off an embarrassing defeat to Bret Hart in a 'Kiss My Foot' match
at that year's 'King Of The Ring', forced to swallow his own
wretched toes that had been everywhere except up Rikishi's
backside. A fuming King carted himself off to his personal
dentist, one Isaac Yankem DDS, and so Glenn Jacobs entered the
WWF. Lawler used his broadcast position to sell the monster like
never before, evidently having a laugh riot at the comic value of
a guy with a ridiculous name but a physique that was certainly
not to be laughed at. At 'Summerslam', the Hitman was forced to
face Yankem, who had to that point never been seen on WWF
programming. His entrance into the Igloo was met with awe, as
only then did audiences begin to realise just how big this guy
was. Moreover, he dominated Hart in a solid cat and mouse contest
that ended only when Lawler earned his stooge a disqualification
and the two choked Hart out flat.
Few athletes have ever had such a favorable entrance into the
WWF, least of all against a main eventer like Bret Hart. Which
makes it all the more surprising that Yankem never fulfilled his
initial promise in the group. The feud with Hart had died out by
November, after Hart had climbed his way to victory in a cage
match on 'Raw' with Lawler amusingly suspended above the ring in
a mini cage of his own. The match was of a calibre worthy of a
PPV, but these were the days that 'Nitro' had exploded onto
monday night television, and McMahon was on his guard. From
there, the maniacal dentist jobbed to the Undertaker at the
'Survivor Series' as part of the phenom's vengeful return (he
also pinned Lawler and Triple H, not needing the rest of his team
to wipe out the alliance captained by the man now known as
Viscera- my, how times and the pecking order has changed), and
after that was never again even to be seen in singles or tag
match-up on the PPV scene again.
The gimmick was simply not mature enough for the new wrestling
audience that was emerging that year. Fans wanted angles that
would push the barriers of acceptability, hence Goldust and his
suspected bisexuality went down a treat whilst Austin's foul
language tore the house down. Isaac Yankem was not groomed for
this new attitude, in spite of his physical attributes.
Consequently, the bookers novacaned the idea, and Glenn Jacobs
was sent back to the training grounds of Memphis until they could
think of what to do with him.
Their next idea was excruciatingly painful, and in hindsight many
fans would have preferred to have undergone root canal surgery
without the benefit of an anaesthetic. Having lost Scott Hall and
Kevin Nash to WCW in the spring of that year, and subsequently
seen their ratings plummit as the nWo was born, the WWF decided
to attempt something of a coup in a desperate attempt to get back
the ratings. In September, Jim Ross unleashed his venom on Vince
McMahon over their personal diffferences, and then claimed to
have resigned the artists formerly known as Razor Ramon and
Diesel. On 'Raw' at the end of the month, even WCW executives
tuned in to find out just what the Hell was going on, having paid
Nash and Hall a substantial amount not to turn up.
The anger of the crowd that night was visible and audible when
two imitation athletes walked out instead of their beloved
superstars. Rick Borgner got the lucky task of having not to
shave his chest for weeks and grease the hair, whilst our man in
the trenches Jacobs got the leather of Diesel. The gimmick was
doomed to bomb from the start, in spite of Ross' valiant efforts
to sell it to the crowd ("these are two amazing athletes who
could well have been the original Ramon and Diesel").
Perhaps had the WWF stuck with it and used Ross in a more active
way as the unlikely heel (take note, bookers of today, the man
can do more than play by play), the idea might have had a chance.
As it happened, the fans had spoken loud and clear. Razor and
Diesel Mark II went to the 'Survivor Series' only to get battered
by veteran Superfly Jimmy Snuka as the penultimate match of the
evening ended in chair-wielding mayhem. One month later at the
oh-so imaginatively titled 'It's Time' PPV, and they suffered a
loss to the tag champions Owen Hart and the British Bulldog, in
front of a noticeably small crowd of five and a half thousand.
From a small gathering to the massive 60,000 plus in Alamo at the
'Royal Rumble', where Diesel managed to be part of the final few
combattants, only to be thrown over to the floor before too long.
Following these dark months, neither athlete was ever again seen
at a PPV under that guise, and again Jacobs dusted off his blue
suede shoes and headed to Memphis awaiting his orders from above.
Two strikes and still no fun must have made him think twice about
his choice of career. He had given each gimmick everything that
he had, and not many young athletes can claim to have shown such
maturity in their early careers. Nevertheless, poor old Glen had
no niche in the WWF and so couldn't even sell himself to the
opposition. Yet Vince McMahon knew he had winner in that mass of
bulk somewhere. Several months later, and The Undertaker was
being persecuted by his former mentor Paul Bearer, whose face he
had fried at the April PPV, appropriately titled 'Revenge of the
Taker' (God, they really were short on PPV ideas back then). The
rotund one blackmailed his dark angel into standing at his side
once more, otherwise he would reveal to the world his secret.
As we all know, secrets never stay that way in the mad soap opera
of WWF programming. Bearer and his charge crossed words, and so
the 'fat man' spilled the beans. When The Undertaker was but a
beefy boy, he and his brother Kane were left to play at the
mortuary where their parents worked and where, by pure
coincidence, Bearer trained. The Phenom hadn't been paying
attention to those safety adverts, and played with matches, a
move which burned the whole place to the ground with his parents
and his little brother inside. If ever there was a moment when
the WWF revealed that it had turned its scripts into
sensationalist glitz, this was it. Not even Aaron Spelling could
have come up with this one.
The plot thickened, as The 'Taker retaliated by explaining that
it was his brother and not him who had played with the matches
and nuked the family tree. Bearer remained unwavered, and claimed
he knew the truth since Kane was- shock horror- alive. fans
worldwide began to ask who was Kane, what did he look like, and
just when would he come back to haunt his brother. As we all
remained glued to our screens in anticipation, Glenn Jacoobs was
getting to grips with the gimmick that McMahon had entrusted him
with. He knew full well that this was his shot, and that the WWF
were banking on it being a success, so much so that despite the
dominance of their rivals in the ratings, they did not rush the
idea along. After three months, and still no sign of this twisted
soul as his big brother went into battle against Shawn Michaels
in the first 'Hell In A Cell' for a shot against the champion in
Montreal the following month.
The match was a classic, and after nearly a half hour of blood
and brutality, it looked as if the man from the dark side was on
his way as everyone had predicted to the 'Survivor Series'. But
as HBK lay in a pool of his own blood, the lights went down and
an eerie melody of organ music began to play. Through an
explosion of pyro Kane was born into the WWF at last, a huge
monster decked out in red and black leather wearing an ominous
mask to hide his supposedly disfigured face. He ripped the door
off of the cell, stared his brother out, and then naturally
tombstoned his ass in the centre of the ring allowing Michaels to
score the upset.
With Paul Bearer as his mouthpiece, since his vocal chords had
apparently been singed in the fire, Kane began to walk a path of
literal destruction in the WWF. Superstar after superstar was
battered all the way to Hell as he rampaged his way towards his
brother. At the 'Survivor Series', we knew that this gimmick was
the one for this giant, as he simply manhandled Mankind, throwing
him onto the concrete floor with no mercy and using his body to
do some redecorating around the announcers' position. Mick Foley
explained that that night, as several superstars contemplated
walking out on the WWF over the infamous double cross in the Main
Event, he knew his pal Glenn would stay, since at last he had a
bankable image.
For the next two months, it was more of the same as Kane dared
his brother to fight him. The angle was lucid and neat, as UT
refused point blank to fight his flesh and blood, pulling off
some impressive acting work that was almost convincing enough to
make you believe he really was staring a ghost in the face. At
the 'Royal Rumble', it appeared as if he and his long-lost
sibling had reunited as he went in to the Casket Match against
Shawn Michaels. Surprise surprise, it was all a ruse, and Kane
chokeslammed the Phenom into the box before setting it alight
with Paul Bearer. Proclaiming that they had enacted their own
justice, the gruesome twosome destroyed Vader at 'No Way Out',
crushing his face with a wrench. Kane's continued silence added
to the aura of the character as he marched his way across the
WWF. Inevitably, the Undertaker returned, and after some fancy
showdown using their supernatural powers (talk about suspending
disbelief) on 'Raw', they clashed at 'Wrestlemania XIV'. It was
your typical big man contest, apart from the opening where Kane
tombstoned baseball legend Pete Rose simply because he was in his
way. Both men survived the other's tombstones, but eventually
after three of the piledrivers, one top-rope clothesline and yet
another finisher, The Undertaker barely go the three count. Kane
was non too pleased, so cracked a chair over his brother's head
to say thanks, leading them both towards the first 'Unforgiven'
PPV and the very first Inferno Match on WWF television.
The rules were simple enough- the ring was surrounded in flames
and the only way to win was to set your opponent on fire. Nice.
In the meantime, Paul Bearer had added yet further momentum to
the now incredibly-over angle by claiming he was Kane's father
having done the horizontal mambo with his mother on the kitchen
floor of the mortuary (I can tell you, my father is a successful
funeral director and mortuaries don't have kitchens- maybe I'm
nit-picking here, but if you want to be accurate...). The match
went the way of the dark man following interference from a
returning Vader, so he was seen off again at the following PPV
with yet another tombstone. The next night, and Paul Bearer was
reunited with a deranged Mick Foley, who had reverted back to his
Mankind persona, allowing the Big Red Machine to beat his brother
and go to 'King Of The Ring' to face Austin for the championship.
Stipulations abounded that night, another indication of how far
McMahon would push the limits. Following the 'Hell In A Cell'
that no one will forget, Kane stepped into the ring in the
knowledge that should he lose, he would have to set himself on
fire, After seeing Mick Foley nearly die, the audience genuinely
believed that Kane may well be about to barbecue himself.
Cleverly, to add weight to the feud without detracting from his
mystique, Kane was allowed to talk, but Jacobs' voice was hidden
thanks to a voice distorter. After a brutal battle and
interference from his brother and Mankind, Kane drew first blood
as per the stipulation and took the belt at last.
It was a short-lived glory to be had, as the following night
Stone Cold bounced back in anger to reclaim his prize. This was
the age of the WWF's meteoric rise to the top, and McMahon seemed
more keen on an Austin/Undertaker showdown for the title than
keeping the belt over Kane's shoulder. Just to show that there
were no hard feelings, he did give Kane not one but two runs with
the tag gold that summer, only to have him turn on Mankind with a
sledgehammer allowing him to reunite shockingly with his brother
and take on Austin at 'Breakdown' in September in a handicap
match for the gold. However, the powers that be wanted to run and
run with this angle, and so had both men simultaneously pin
Austin after a double chokeslam, allowing McMahon to run off with
the title in glee.
The brothers grim were miffed, so after Austin had beaten up the
boss the next night, they temporarily crippled him using the ring
steps, with a tombstone for good measure. No one knew what the
Hell was going on that autumn as we went into the 'Judgement Day'
PPV and the battle between Kane and his brother for the belt with
Austin as the referee. It was here that the story of Kane took on
a new dimension, as in something of a shocker, he turned face,
building on his enormous heat after Paul Bearer attacked him in
the ring in an effort to aid his former protege. Austin however
scuppered all chances of a clean ending, therefore the title was
vacated and put up for grabs in McMahon's 'Deadly Game' at the
'Survivor Series'.
As the WWF departed upon even more outrageous storylines using
Vince's son Shane and all sorts of political backstabbing, Kane
was starting to emerge as a highly popular face, solidified by
The Undertaker's confession that it was indeed him who set alight
the Mortuary (not that anyone cared by the point). Sure, he
jobbed to his on-screen brother at the PPV, but he came back
later that night to cost him any advance in the tournament and
then one month later crushing his hopes the Buried Alive Match
against Austin. McMahon and then script-writer Vince Russo chose
to run with the idea and have Kane presented as a human being
rather than a monster. The Esmeralda to his Quasimodo would be
Chyna, as he was forced into the Corporate Team following the
threat of institutionalization. He and the treacherous D-X witch
became quite the item, but she would break his heart at
'Wrestlemania XV' and reunite with Triple H after a terrific
contest, spelling the end of Kane's term with Team Corporate (but
not before poor old Pete Rose had been dropped on his head
again).
Evidently, the character of Kane had come on in leaps and bounds
since his entry into the WWF. He had made the successful
transition from destructive beast to gentle giant needing to be
loved, a line that had never really been carried out over such a
long time span before in the WWF. Kane was beyond a shadow of a
doubt one of the group's most unique figures, and the creative
team wished to maintain this status. Cue X-Pac, who became Kane's
'buddy' and tag partner as they battled their way to two tag team
championships. Kane was portrayed as a sensitive, 90s kind of a
guy, and went apeshit when he realized his evil brother had
attacked his friend. Hugs and crotch chops with his stick-like
partner turned to chokeslams on his brother as Kane became a
defender of loyalty for the fans.
Oh the irony. Fans loved every minute, so X-Pac reunited with D-X
and back-stabbed his mate, leading to yet another feud in which
Kane was seen as the downtrodden gentle giant betrayed by those
close to him. The creative team were in all actuality quite
sadistic on this one, giving Kane his first ever girlfriend in
Tori only to have her run off with X-Pac after he had defended
her honour- boo hoo. Kids across America even wrote fan mail to
the monster wishing him well, can you believe. Incredibly, the
gimmick was over with the crowds, even more so when a
Slimfast-addicted Paul Bearer reunited with his 'son' to wage war
on X-Pac and his jezebel bitch. By the spring of this year, the
young lovers had both been tombstoned repeatedly and even given
the stinkface by Rikishi (as had- you guessed it- Pete Rose),
just going to show that the WWF does in a twisted sort of way
uphold moral values of truth and justice.
So what now for Kane? Upon his return following injury, he has
crossed his badass brother yet again, indicating that his days of
being a sensitive tool of destruction are over for the time
being. He and his brother resolved nothing at 'Summerslam',
although he was briefly unmasked. Whether we ever get to see some
sort of scarred face remains an issue, especially as now Kane has
started to talk normally which could suggest that his scars have
healed and he may be ready to unmask permanently. It is clear
that the WWF is keen to get Kane over as a top heel once more,
hinting that he may even be aligned with Raven in some unholy
alliance. Combine that with the new look and new attitude he has
been given, and it seems that Kane's makeover has a real
long-term purpose. He certainly has a huge fan base to build
upon, as well as a strong track record of impressive and moreover
popular performances under his wing.
A far cry from the days of wrenching people's teeth. Glenn Jacobs
has successfully climbed up the slippery WWF ladder. He has taken
brutal beatings, impressive bumps, lost weight when told to, gone
along with all storylines, in fact has done everything that
management have told him to without question in spite of his
rough start in the game. There is light at the end of the tunnel
after all. Surely the least the WWF could do is reward their
resident Big Red Machine with a run at the top? Time will tell,
but in retrospect, I'm sure Glenn Jacobs will just be happy that,
after years of struggling, his character is firmly established in
the echelons of the WWF. Kane should be around for a long time to
come. No more drills or leather pants for him then.....